Vertigo - Babel

Colors pale,

Morning sun

Untouched peachy sky

Peac and beauty

Look down on

Hungry men

Blind and deaf

"must go higher !"

"Taller !"

"Greater !"

Crazy beehive

Ignoring life,,,

Thoughts whirl dizzy

Too many words,

meanings lost,

drown in confusion

Golden tower shaking !

Silence banging at the doors !

Little man

on the edge

cries,,,

Affectionate Anarchy

Affectionate Anarchy


She slammed the door. The silence following her absence left a ringing in his ears.
He sat there for a while,just looking at his image in the mirror above the mantlepiece. Then he shook his head and stood up to get his coat,to go to work.
"Blue." he thought,sitting in the backseat of the car."Of all colours, blue?"
Again he looked at himself in the rearview mirror and shook his head once more. The eye contact didn't help;he didn't have the answers. He could ask himself the same questions over and over.
He entered the building,waving at the security agent at the desk.
"They make them younger everytime!" " Yes,who else would do the job, all strutted up,broad shoulders and a smile." " He seems to like his job then,I bet he doesn't have a problem with authority?"
He looked back from the mirror in the restroom.
"Yes" he said outloud "I am talking to myself."
"The bad thing however is that I don't know either."
As the day filled mercifully with the distraction of problems demanding to be solved,the "blue thing" didn't leave his thoughts. Images of whispering lips behind curtains,big bulging eyes, belonging to those who enjoyed the never ceasing waterfall of gossip. And worst of all;the thin mouth of his once beloved blaming him for yet another disaster.
His secretary didn't say a word when she found him watching the skyline;standing in front of his wallsized window. She just put the papers on the corner of his desk and discretely but quickly vanished.
"He is not in a good mood sir, I would wait untill tomorrow!" The man stopped in his tracks,took his cellphone,whispered a few words and then nodded his head at the worried face of the secretary of the president.
"Define,not in a good mood?" he asked. " I think it's personal,sir."came the answer softly.
Eyes locked;the question was silent;the answer was a double sigh.
"Going in!" the man said feeling less determined than his words indicated.
He opened the door after a short sharp knock.
"Mister President"He stopped and stood 'at attention' even though he never was remotely connected to anything concerning the military.
The man at the window turned slowly:his shoulders bent,a puzzled look on his face.
"Yes,tell me,but be brief! It is time to go home!"
Still standing as if he swallowed a broomstick, the man rattled off his report.
"Good. That is good. So it is all solved then?"
" Yes sir. Just tidying up some odds and ends but all is well."
"Good, let them bring my car around please."
The man turned swiftly on his heals and closed the door behind him with a "'Yes sir!"
He was alone again in the big room.
He tilted his head and said outloud "Blue?" Furrowed forehead,narrowed eyes,puckered lips' Blue!" He sighed and a little smile appeared. "Blue? Maybe navy blue?"
Driving home through the night the smile stayed and broadened.
Coming in,he shook his head "No,I ate at work. I'm not hungry,thank you. Yes,I am allright" he smiled.
The house was silent after the woman left.
He was tired. Watching the news while sitting in the comfortable chair that,he knew, would be the cause of him dozing off before the weather forecast came on. He didn't hear her coming in,but felt her presence. A long arm,ringed fingers and a hot cup of tea appeared before his eyes. He smiled.
"So" he said "Let me see the blue hair?"
"I can't Dad" a cheerfull young voice said.
"So you didn't do it? Out of love for your old dad?"
"Well,you know I love you;and you know I listen to you!"
"That doesn't mean,young lady, that you obey!"
"Correct Dad! By the way," the smiling face blocked the commercials on the television "What do you think of pink? They were all out of blue!"

Protest song

I am not your lucky charm,
rabbitsfoot nor four leaf clover!
Squeeze or pinch me one more time?
And your lucky days are over!

If your rub me for good luck?
make sure your hand won'tget stuck.
I have feelins, I have teeth!
If you stab me YOU will bleed!

I am small but Mother Nature
didn't put me on this earth,
as a lucky puppet feature!
Big Ones, wisely spread the word :

I am not your cuddly toy
Happily swinging on your keyring.
Call me once more : "cutey boy'"
Huge disaster you'll be fearing!

I have a beard, I have a hat.
I don't know where my gold is at!
I have not seen that pot for ages!
Shouldn't you guys pay me wages?

Ask me where the rainbows end,
I'll show you where the sunshine went!
Green is lucky? Now try black!
I'm fed up and will punch back!

Limping rabbits, come and fight
Big old spiders, do join in!
Shoeless horses all unite!
Falling stars, we can win!

If only man could see,
what is so clear to me :
You see a moonbeam, that is stuck,
and lock it up,,just for luck???

Learn before it is too late:
Luck will only come to love and faith,,,

For a Friend

I heard this morning he was gone, which meant that he simply had stopped breathing.
His face is etched in my memory but I will never again see the smile he shared with Clark Gable, nor the blue-grey eyes, watching me while listening to me.
Only a void where there was none, will be there.

I like oil paintings: they clearly state contours and visualize the sharp edges. And what you see is what you get: a frozen image that will never alter, that always will stay the same. No more no less!
But now, my inner view drifts off in watercolours, wisps of grey and green, one blurred image fading into another, as tears soften my view of the outside world.

And I think of him, who stopped living, suddenly, when I was not ready to let him leave me.
And he walked away...quitely.

There was a time, I looked for answers, a time I rebelled against anything or anyone who I remotely could hold responsible for taking a warm beating heart away from me.

Life is not fair...

It is unearthly hot, while I sit here, struck by yet another blow...again something I can't fight, I can't change!
I gaze up to the clear-blue sky, straight into the blaze of the white hot ball of fire, defying every law of physics, in search of the blind trust of my childhood : people who die go to heaven : period!

I want to see him now!

All the known colours and then some, explode in my head into a flashing, silver metallic haze. I close my eyes very tight and slowly the world slips mercifully into a vast blackness.

I open them and I am blind.

And then ... I do see...

As this blindness is but darkness, is but the absence of light.

He is still there, behind the veil, separating here and there.

And will never be gone.

Embrace

The First

Only just there,

not yet fully aware,

all is odd, new and bare.

Light is bright,

shadows hazy,

tired of the fight,

sleepy, lazy...

Little worried face

barely alive...

And in the mids of all that is strange and unknown...

ultimate trust is shown...

One, two, three, four, five

tiny fingers wrap around fathers pinky...

Babies first embrace!

Fox

A Midsummer Night's Dream

Twilight time, not light and not dark. Softly nature hums. There is music but no song...only the essence of almost a sound breaking the silence. A gentle breeze whispers through the luscious green treetops; fireflies paint stars: tiny specs that weave in and out misty grey shadows, while the wind plays over the meadows draving patterns under a honeycolored sky, where daisies bow...tired of a day that does not end.

Organdie butterflywings, with crystal-clear pearldrops, dance in a light that looks so unreal, as if fairy dust coats the world.

Here Time chose to stand still...

Hen who brings the velvet darkness, who covers all with the gown of forgetfulness, who wipes away sorrow and gives belssed oblivion... awaits her.

He spreads his arms, ready to embrace... but she bows her head, covers herself with her long blond hair and hides.

Then suddenly she leaps... tiptoes around him, her laughter tickling his inner being. It diverts him, caresses him... she draws closer, not touching and stays out of his reach but does not wander.

He shakes his head, laughs out loud! He knows he will win, as they will come together as sure as night and day.

Still, when the high corn brings back a faint echo,,,doubt creeps in. He tilts his head, a frown, his shoulders tighten. He watches her with curious wonder: her radiance, her gusto for life, her little naughty smile while she waves him back...not yet, not now, not this time, my strong lover... wait! Those deep blue eyes that promise, yet hold back, tantalizingly invite...

He follows reluctantly while she showers her warm embrace over the land and all living things, looking over her shoulder, eyes half closed, bottom lip with that tiny pot.

He is lost, intrigued, annoyed, unsure... he feels as if he entered a forgotten garden that slowly unfolds... new to him, but as old as time. He can taste the magic on the tip of his tongue. She beckons, he comes...

Soft floats her voice , as a sigh over the water:

"No sleep, my love, not now... not while your fingers could maybe caress mine, while your lips should find mine, while the days so close to the restful night holds on... lingers for almost enternity."

And her words sail to him over the dry eastern winds:

"This feels like a night for making love... for making it last... for long deep gazes, eye to eye... for subtle nearly touching... for smiles and words not yet spoken... for loving without holding.

Imagine my love... distance between us, and still feel me near, almost within reach... and let us take this midsummer night to dream together as we have time..."

Foxy

Merlin

Thursdayevening,,almost 11 pm,,,and again all is quiet,,,even Merlin gave up eh : mom's on the computer,,,doesn't wanna play,,,so ,ok,,,
Cats love to sleep and they made it into an art. There is nothing more peaceful than a sleeping cat,,,it lays there, all relaxed,,,smiles even,,,not a worry in the world.
It just turns the switch and it is in a different world. A cat knows, without the shadow of doubt , that, at that certain moment in time ,nothing is gonna harm it,,,there are no faxmachines who will spit questions,,,no phones that hold problems,,,and most of all : no people that want something from ya,,,,
Just turn yaself into a lil ball,,,or even better, stretch out and leave the world to it's own worries . As the world survived so long on it's own,,, it knows by now how to do that,,without help,,,without meddling ,,without watching it turn,,,,
It's a gift, a talent : don't go for yoga,,,don't go for 'working out', don't turn on the tele so ya can put ya mind on 'below zero' watching ppl who think they can sing,,dance or even do politics,,,be a cat ! Be Merlin the cat !
Every move he makes has its purpose : Lost in thoughts,he walks in a perfect circle,,, once,, twice,,, three times,,, then a sudden noise startles him,,he looks up,,,eyes all wide ,,all alert,,,turns his head and looks at me,,,he winks,,,and then he starts over : one circle,,two,,, and he stretches ,,,
Oh, ya wish ya knew his secret,eh ,,,ya can just ''sense'' how good that stretching feels ,,,every muscle gets his turn,,,even the hairs on top of his ears seem to grow longer,,,
Then he 'slides' on to the floor,,,turns on his side and looks at me,,,slowly I see how he falls asleep,,,,and I feel privileged,,,I'm part of a magical moment,,,just before the beautiful green and yellow eyes close, I see a glimps of another world,,,where nothing bothers you,,,where all is at ease,,beyond peace,,I think cats found the nirvana long before religion did,,,
It's dark outside,,the window is like a mirror reflecting, like a bad photo,my cosy lil puter- room,,,,,black velvet outside,,,but that doesn't matter ,,, here,it's warm and quiet,,,and it's time to 'be Merlin' . So,,,I'll cuddle up to my pillow,,,and if I'm lucky ,,a lil ball of fur at my feet will try to teach me one more time how to go to sleep ,,,,softly,,,without a care in the world,,,,
That is if I can manage not to move ,,,cause lil claws will protect first of all,,,,Merlins'dreams !
Nite nite,,,,,,,