Daisy

Too late for the magpie but still,,,I dedicate it to the picture !

She felt warm and cosy for weeks, immersed in darkness although she didn't know that this was just the absence of light. She didn't care, didn't think; she just was. Yes, there was a strong feeling of being. She swam while she grew, very comfortable.

Then there was the sensation of touch, as subtle as a caress of butterfly wings on flower pedals. She wasn't alone!

Overjoyed and intrigued, she stirred more, stretching as a starfish, sprouting limps, reaching out. Overcome with a feeling of wellbeing, she moved on the tide, floating side by side and by side and by side.

The space they shared became smaller; walls, however flexible, closed in on them.

So many of them, wriggling, shoving, bumping into each other but somehow she knew there was her and there were the others. She sometimes curled up but more often pushed and poked to secure her spot, her own, determined to stay. One obstacle next to her didn't shove back...

She sensed movement inside it, a vibration that soothed her more than the rhythm of the other moving ones. She tried to make it budge for a while then she kept close to it and often held it. She used it to push the others back.

Suddenly the urge to push free became imminent and she began to struggle, instinctively she knew the direction towards to move. The walls contracted violently and the panic around her made her crawl back. But the body beside her, her comfort and solace was in the way!

For the first time the friendly lump seem to become an enemy not an ally. She tried however to cuddle up to it and felt the reassuring vibration so she stayed.

One of the others slid past her and then another,,, and yet one more,,,the one she held on to, for so long, did not. She was puzzled; she didn't want to leave it but she knew she would have to.

A cry welled up inside her and she pushed,,,,pushed as hard as she could; there was more room now the others left.

It moved with a sudden jerk and she followed it happily. She knew there had been no choice. She was not leaving it behind as it was hers.

" I count three, Dad; you think that's all of them?"

"I'm not sure, Peter, she's still at it, she might take her time with the next one."

The feeling of wellbeing returned. The pressure stopped. She was tired and in a way sad. She realized she missed out on something, a chance, a wonderful thing that should have happened.

And then she felt something move and knew it was him; her energy floated back and she jumped, turned around as to face her mate. They touched as for the first time, twirled slowly around, rubbing against each other and moving together ,,,they shared a dance,,,

" See, Peter, she's got more."

"Oh look,, Dad, Dad,,,there are two more,,two together,,,oh, they are so beautiful!"

The first feeling was freedom, the second one loneliness. She tumbled, felt something stroke her, hard and wet,,,,felt the sudden cold and cried. She got picked up, got scared, wriggled almost free,,,

" This is a feisty one, Dad, look, she is so beautiful!"

"Put her down, son, let her mom keep her warm"

And there he was, her buddy, she recognized him and held him.

There was more, something else to cuddle up against and there was, mmmmmmmh,,,,and she forgot all, sucking mothers nipple.

Days passed while the darkness changed in a pinkish light. She didn't care, she was happy.

Her buddy was bigger than the others and now, he was the one that pushed so they could feed together.

"You think they can see me, Dad?"

"They should about now, Peter, we'll leave the top door open, so they'll get used to the light"

"Won't Ally leave them Dad?"

"Not yet, she knows son, they need her close"

Then there was light,,, and there was a smell of unknown wonders. She didn't cry but yelped with joy and so did her brothers and sisters. The one beside her, the big one, didn't.

So she nudged him and bit his ear. He let her.

"They are so beautiful eh Dad? They are perfect! But I still like Daisy the best."

"They will be great dogs, friends and companions, Peter, all of them."

"I still like Daisy the best, Dad."

"Ok, we'll keep her, the big one needs a name too, the others we will sell, in a while."

"Ok Dad, I'll think about it."

Oct 20;2010

Rain

Rain

Pear shaped clear crystals
shatter away hidden dreams
water falls, curtain !

C minor low drum
monotone droning tune
continuity

Grey clouds ban sunlight
thunder blacks out wavered start
crushed in the bud


Still ,,, after the rain
Fresh thoughs wake, new dreams are born,
lavender sented,,,

26 09 2010

Where the wild things are.

And then it starts;
He knows it is coming, unavoidable and as sure as the tail follows the mouse.
It begings with a low grumbling, somewhere in the back, increasing in volume at first; a race care rounding the curb, then settling for just the sound of a soft but constant snoring.
It is almost like it is not there, but as an old grandma knitting in the background near the furnace who seems not really a part of every day life; it is however determined to stay.

Then the pitter-patter starts, a thousand little feet stamping like ever so tiny army boots on a wooden stage, millions of spiders marching under a war flag or equally the same amount of dripping taps, one drop at the time, just a nano second apart to get more impact.
It perfected its ways as it has been this way before.
And that is the base; this is just the wallpaper, blotted and peeled, stained with hazy but dark brown spots, might be blood, still even NCIS wouldn't be sure.
It is the background of the scene; now the real show starts.

As the monotonous humming, toning down to the sound of a constand far away thunder, starts to ease him mercifully; a sudden extremely bright carbide flash tears the velvet darkness in to a blinding no-colour, into nothing, even the shadows get sucked out, no sight, no marking points except the constant droning of the snore tapdancing staccato with the dripping drops of the broken taps.

The first flash disappears leaving that sickening green purple reflection but before the healing dark sets in, it's back and it brought mates. Together they work up a crescendo of hot rods of pain poking in to weak unprotected, naked flesh.
They don't go all off at once like Chinese firework that can not wait to stun the public. No, as timing is everything when you go for effect : Dark! Light! Dark! Light! Confusing the hell out of him as if he is a fly walking on a neon lighted zebras back.
As the pain sets in, he buries his face in his hands knowing that the worst is still to come.
He moans like a child, fearing the screams will take over as soon as,,,
There they are! The faces!
The horrible twisted mouth laughing like mad, showing him a deep dark gap between the crooked brown teeth! They come closer,,, and he can't move! They are attacking from all sides, going through him; images scraping at the darkside of his eyes, drauthing pictures of skulls with worms and leftover molted apple sauce, with white bemossed ten days old baby carrots and green corn flaoting in a drab that foams and bubbles, coming at him wave after wave.
The horrid painted faces with big ruby puckered up lips mouth in slow-motion the most horrible words. The laugther that doesn't reach the blankety blank red eyes! Out of the grey tanned heads sprout fingers that turn into claws penetrating his stomach as long sharp rusty needles, probing, hurting, turning him inside out.
And the smell! Oh, God the smell! Sewer pit smells, rotten eggs, sour milk, and tastes that he only recognizs because he has been here before.
But it is worst this time! It's the end of his world for sure!
Foul air, one stinkin gulp after another, overpower his nostrils, torture him.
The wild things are fully ignorant to his cries of woo, only obeying the law of consequence which is molted into stone and beyond his powers. Relentless as the hammer of Thor they smash into him with an ease of a continuous night summers beach breeze that caresses the pale sand.
He tries to outrun it but the horrors are inside him; plucking crescendo at his intestines, playing the big drum ochestra low in his back and going for the all out final of a orange and gold firebold lightshow unseen since the beginning of time.

He can not escape; he has to endure the wild things, that keep him in their graps, momentarily, untill it is over once again. He knows his eyes will look upon the soft cream of his bedroom walls where the sunlight will color golden specs to make life all light and easy to bear.
And while he waits,,,
He vows on everything that is dear to him, that,if he survives,,,
He will never drink again!

Déja vue

I hold inside me
Your words of love
The soft spoken promises
The whispers carried on dragonfly wings
as hot rays of sunshine
I feel
The tantelizing touches
The fingers tracing the outlines of my heart
My hopes well hidden
Our dreams of one day
I always knew

I hold inside me
And I always knew
Your words of love
Our dreams of one day
The soft spoken promises
My hopes well hidden
The whispers carried on dragonfly wings
The fingers tracings the outlines of my heart
as hot rays of sunshine
The tantalizing touches
I feel
Déja vu
I feel
The tantalizing touches
As hot rays of sunsine
The fingers tracing the outlines of my heart
The whispers carried on dragonfly wings
My hopes well hidden
The soft spoken promises
Our dreams of one day
Your words of love
I always knew
what I hold inside me

I always knew
Our dreams of one day
my hopes well hidden
The fingers tracing the outlines of my heart
The tantalizing touches
I feel
as hot rays of sunshine
The whispers carried on dragonflywings
The soft spoken promises
Your words of love
I hold inside of me

Vertigo - Babel

Colors pale,

Morning sun

Untouched peachy sky

Peac and beauty

Look down on

Hungry men

Blind and deaf

"must go higher !"

"Taller !"

"Greater !"

Crazy beehive

Ignoring life,,,

Thoughts whirl dizzy

Too many words,

meanings lost,

drown in confusion

Golden tower shaking !

Silence banging at the doors !

Little man

on the edge

cries,,,

Affectionate Anarchy

Affectionate Anarchy


She slammed the door. The silence following her absence left a ringing in his ears.
He sat there for a while,just looking at his image in the mirror above the mantlepiece. Then he shook his head and stood up to get his coat,to go to work.
"Blue." he thought,sitting in the backseat of the car."Of all colours, blue?"
Again he looked at himself in the rearview mirror and shook his head once more. The eye contact didn't help;he didn't have the answers. He could ask himself the same questions over and over.
He entered the building,waving at the security agent at the desk.
"They make them younger everytime!" " Yes,who else would do the job, all strutted up,broad shoulders and a smile." " He seems to like his job then,I bet he doesn't have a problem with authority?"
He looked back from the mirror in the restroom.
"Yes" he said outloud "I am talking to myself."
"The bad thing however is that I don't know either."
As the day filled mercifully with the distraction of problems demanding to be solved,the "blue thing" didn't leave his thoughts. Images of whispering lips behind curtains,big bulging eyes, belonging to those who enjoyed the never ceasing waterfall of gossip. And worst of all;the thin mouth of his once beloved blaming him for yet another disaster.
His secretary didn't say a word when she found him watching the skyline;standing in front of his wallsized window. She just put the papers on the corner of his desk and discretely but quickly vanished.
"He is not in a good mood sir, I would wait untill tomorrow!" The man stopped in his tracks,took his cellphone,whispered a few words and then nodded his head at the worried face of the secretary of the president.
"Define,not in a good mood?" he asked. " I think it's personal,sir."came the answer softly.
Eyes locked;the question was silent;the answer was a double sigh.
"Going in!" the man said feeling less determined than his words indicated.
He opened the door after a short sharp knock.
"Mister President"He stopped and stood 'at attention' even though he never was remotely connected to anything concerning the military.
The man at the window turned slowly:his shoulders bent,a puzzled look on his face.
"Yes,tell me,but be brief! It is time to go home!"
Still standing as if he swallowed a broomstick, the man rattled off his report.
"Good. That is good. So it is all solved then?"
" Yes sir. Just tidying up some odds and ends but all is well."
"Good, let them bring my car around please."
The man turned swiftly on his heals and closed the door behind him with a "'Yes sir!"
He was alone again in the big room.
He tilted his head and said outloud "Blue?" Furrowed forehead,narrowed eyes,puckered lips' Blue!" He sighed and a little smile appeared. "Blue? Maybe navy blue?"
Driving home through the night the smile stayed and broadened.
Coming in,he shook his head "No,I ate at work. I'm not hungry,thank you. Yes,I am allright" he smiled.
The house was silent after the woman left.
He was tired. Watching the news while sitting in the comfortable chair that,he knew, would be the cause of him dozing off before the weather forecast came on. He didn't hear her coming in,but felt her presence. A long arm,ringed fingers and a hot cup of tea appeared before his eyes. He smiled.
"So" he said "Let me see the blue hair?"
"I can't Dad" a cheerfull young voice said.
"So you didn't do it? Out of love for your old dad?"
"Well,you know I love you;and you know I listen to you!"
"That doesn't mean,young lady, that you obey!"
"Correct Dad! By the way," the smiling face blocked the commercials on the television "What do you think of pink? They were all out of blue!"

Protest song

I am not your lucky charm,
rabbitsfoot nor four leaf clover!
Squeeze or pinch me one more time?
And your lucky days are over!

If your rub me for good luck?
make sure your hand won'tget stuck.
I have feelins, I have teeth!
If you stab me YOU will bleed!

I am small but Mother Nature
didn't put me on this earth,
as a lucky puppet feature!
Big Ones, wisely spread the word :

I am not your cuddly toy
Happily swinging on your keyring.
Call me once more : "cutey boy'"
Huge disaster you'll be fearing!

I have a beard, I have a hat.
I don't know where my gold is at!
I have not seen that pot for ages!
Shouldn't you guys pay me wages?

Ask me where the rainbows end,
I'll show you where the sunshine went!
Green is lucky? Now try black!
I'm fed up and will punch back!

Limping rabbits, come and fight
Big old spiders, do join in!
Shoeless horses all unite!
Falling stars, we can win!

If only man could see,
what is so clear to me :
You see a moonbeam, that is stuck,
and lock it up,,just for luck???

Learn before it is too late:
Luck will only come to love and faith,,,